i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
