I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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