U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
