Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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