He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Found your dick twin last night
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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