I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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