Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
