from now on my penis is your penis
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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