i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
