I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
