Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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