I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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