god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
