Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
