last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
