A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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