if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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