ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
