My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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