you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
