how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
