White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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