i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize