Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
