Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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