I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
