DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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