Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize