Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
