Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Still dying that you shit outside
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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