My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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