I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
