smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
