is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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