if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
