We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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