yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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