I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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