I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
