She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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