You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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