I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
