i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
