Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
