Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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