We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
