I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
