member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
