seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
