I'm passing your future prison.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
