she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
