So drunk its hurt
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
