Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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