Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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