My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
