New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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