ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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