My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
