i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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