You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
