She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
