She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
