Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
