why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
