Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i dont even know how to be here
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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