watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize