But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
