I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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