And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize