i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
