Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
