It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
