i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This baby is an asshole
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
