do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
