Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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