this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
