yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
