i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
