Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
