maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize