if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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